For some days now I’ve totally turned myself into a hallow…i’m way passed over the edge in what concerns self-preservation..I’ve got simply no idea what incredible charitable force could reach out and grab me from this shitty situation. I’m all sucked up of power, energy, identity,..all the simple stuff that used to make me human look-alike.

I cannot stand lookin in the mirror..cauz ..i know..I look like shit, haven’t washed my hair for 5 days now..it’s incredible I brush my teeth in the morning..though I know, that’s simply no excuse for still believing I ‘m human..it’s just pure mechanics.

I can’t think straight cauz I haven’t slept right since.uh..see.. not thinking..can’t remember..I stay up all night, pretending to study, though my mind is totally blank, I can’t master anymore my basic functions, such as pressing the rec button and ffwd and..Gosh! I wish I could do that.

Don’t know how much more black coffee could I pour in myself in order to become a dark soldier on the field of memory..seems my army is already coffee resistant

I wish I could be at least delirious..like u know- instead of pressing rec and ffwd, I could just press play and listen to some silly joyful music like a neuron tap or something…evidently, with the interference of some grotesque gothic sounds like the voice of conscience which would be like a Marlyn Manson monologue double roleplayed, in turns, by my mom and my pop..and then..at the end..I wish for a tiny little sound..like a cricket or somethin’ and that’s it..I can can climb up my window and jump in peace….

In the most weird of available ways..I guess some guys from the airport in Cluj read my mind too damn quickly cauz two days ago thy sent an insect look alike plane, all rumbling and all, surveilling over the city, like only 4 meters high above the small blocks and two meters below the highest….damn u stupid people…haven’t u heard of false suicide..that’s what I want..not the real stuff! Don’t u ever pull that 9/11 crap trick on me again!